Building Resilience by Thriving In Life's Challenges

Dear Beautiful People,

Life is an unpredictable journey, filled with ups and downs that often test our strength and endurance. In the face of adversity, the quality that can make all the difference is resilience. Resilience empowers us to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to change, and thrive despite life's challenges.

I remember when I was 21 years old and pregnant with my first child. At the time I had no idea what a blessing she would be in my life. Instead I was riddled with overwhelm and challenged by my failure to plan. Not only was I about to become a young parent, I was about to become a young single parent. To add insult to injury, I was also going to have to relocate from Georgia where I had just recently relocated to be with my boyfriend, back to New York, because I needed to go back to where I had a support network. Oh, I was also unemployed and forced to file for bankruptcy after getting into an automobile accident on my way back home, totaling my car and injuring my back, making me unable to work for several months. Talk about misfortune! Many people would have given up. I know I wanted to give up on a lot of the days following what seemed to be a streak of bad luck. But I was about to become a mom. This little person was going to need me. Who did I want this person to see and learn from? It surely wasn’t someone who gave up or gave in to challenge.

I was fortunate to have had a great support system back home and I was blessed to have a healthy pregnancy. These things helped me find gratitude and the growing child in my belly helped me find purpose. There is a transformative power that lives in choosing to be resilient and strong vs weak and inflexible to change. Resilience uncovered how it can help us navigate life's unpredictable twists and turns.

Resilience is more than just bouncing back; it's about bouncing forward. It's the ability to remain steadfast in the face of difficulties and emerge stronger, wiser, and more determined

than before. Resilience enables us to harness our inner strength and find creative solutions to the obstacles that life throws our way. Resilience is not an innate trait; it's a skill that can be cultivated and strengthened over time. Just as muscles grow stronger with exercise, resilience develops through practice and perseverance. By facing challenges head-on, we build the emotional and mental fortitude needed to overcome future hurdles.

This is exactly what I had to do as I looked ahead to what my and my unborn child’s future looked like — face challenges head-on. I prioritized my health, mental and physical. My objective was to deliver a healthy and happy baby. Fortunately I did just that. On March 19, 1996 at 1:11 AM I gave birth to a beautiful 7 lb, 3 oz baby girl. At that very moment my life changed. I didn’t wait long before getting back on track. Four weeks after giving birth I went to work with a mission. I made a conscious choice that my daughter’s trajectory was going to be better than mine. Her history would tell a different story. I could have been anyone at that time, but I chose to be someone…someone special. I’m proud to say, I view myself as someone very special today. I’m a wife, mom of three beautiful young adults, 2 of whom are college graduates and 1 who is a junior in college. I too am educated. I have a Bachelors of Science in Business Management and an MBA. I was the first of 7 children to graduate from college while also being the mother of 3 small children. I’m a successful business woman working for a global bank and part of the 1% senior black leaders in the organization. I’m also a certified project management professional and life coach which I’m using to manage my own business, which is my purpose project. I think I’ve done well and shown resilience in my life time and time again. This short snippet is just a peek into more of my story which I hope to share in future posts.

But today, let’s explore the components of resilience. Taking note resilience comprises several essential components, such as adaptability, optimism, problem-solving, and social support. Each element plays a crucial role in helping us maintain balance during challenging times and fostering a positive outlook on life. To be resilient requires an ability to adapt to change. Life is an ever-changing landscape and our ability to adapt is key to thriving in a dynamic world. Embracing change as an opportunity for growth rather than fearing it empowers us to stay agile and open to new possibilities. Resilience allows us to navigate transitions with grace and courage, knowing that each change brings valuable lessons and opportunities. Unfortunately, we don’t always feel that way or know that when we are going through a challenge.

In reading a little bit of my story, I hope you are able to see how the power of mindset played a role in my outcomes. A positive mindset is a powerful ally in building resilience. By reframing negative thoughts and focusing on the silver linings, we can foster optimism even during tough times. I could have thrown in the towel and given up. I could have claimed a victim mentality, but instead I cultivated gratitude for what I had and acknowledged what I wanted to create in the future, using that as the strength to shift my perspective, empowering me to face challenges with renewed determination.

Remember my quest to return home? Well that’s because your network and human connections are a vital source of strength in building resilience. Having a support system of friends, family, a mentor or a life coach can provide encouragement, validation, and guidance during challenging times. Sharing our struggles and seeking support creates a sense of belonging and reminds us that we are not alone in our journey. I was fortunate to meet my first mentor at the job I took when my daughter was only 4 weeks old. My mentor eventually became my sponsor helping me grow in my career. A relationship that has stood the tests of time where we still communicate 27 years later.

As we journey through life, resilience becomes our anchor in the face of challenges. By cultivating resilience, we not only bounce back from setbacks but also grow and flourish. The power of resilience lies within each of us, waiting to be unlocked and harnessed. I encourage you to embrace the strength that lives in resilience and be empowered to face life's uncertainties with grace, gratitude and unwavering determination. Remember, no matter what life throws your way, you have the strength to rise above and thrive. You also always have a choice which ultimately contributes to the outcomes — so choose what aligns to your purpose.

Here are some introspective self-coaching questions aligned with some of the practical strategies I’ve identified to help all of us in building resilience:

1. Embrace change and uncertainty as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

- How can I reframe my perspective on change and uncertainty to see them as opportunities for personal growth?

- What new skills or strengths can I develop by embracing change and navigating uncertainty in my life?

- How can I cultivate a mindset that welcomes change as a chance to explore new possibilities and paths?

2. Practice mindfulness and self-compassion to cope with stress and setbacks.

- How can I incorporate mindfulness practices into my daily routine to better manage stress and maintain emotional balance?

- What self-compassionate phrases or affirmations can I use to be kinder to myself during challenging times?

- How can I create a self-care plan that prioritizes my well-being and allows me to recharge during difficult moments?

3. Set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps to build a sense of accomplishment.

- What steps can I take to set realistic and achievable goals that align with my values and aspirations?

- How can I break down bigger goals into smaller, actionable steps to build a sense of progress and accomplishment?

- What resources or support can I seek to help me stay focused and motivated as I work towards my goals?

4. Seek out positive role models and learn from their experiences and wisdom.

- Who are some individuals I admire for their resilience and ability to overcome challenges? What can I learn from their experiences?

- How can I connect with positive role models or mentors who can provide guidance and support on my journey to become more resilient?

- In what ways can I incorporate the lessons and insights from these role models into my own life and decision-making process?

5. Focus on what you can control and let go of what is beyond your influence.

- How can I distinguish between aspects of a situation that I can control and those that are beyond my influence?

- What strategies can I use to let go of worry or anxiety about factors outside of my control and channel my energy into what I can influence?

- How can I develop a sense of acceptance and adaptability to navigate situations where I have limited control over the outcome?

The self-coaching questions I provide are always designed to encourage introspection and self-discovery. These particular questions are aimed at helping you to develop a deeper understanding of how to build resilience in your life. As you answer these questions, remember to be honest and compassionate with yourself, recognizing that the journey towards greater resilience is a process of growth and learning. Find gratitude in the journey, always.

With love, grace and peaceful awareness - Coach Kim